The strange freedom of choosing misery
Most of us are engaged, more or less unconsciously, in a continual attempt to convince ourselves that it’s impossible for us to be really, finally happy. We make an airtight case for our unhappiness, pinning it on various supposedly unalterable conditions and inescapable circumstances. Our life, we say—at least to ourselves, and sometimes to others in one way or another—simply won’t let us be happy.
But the truth is that no condition, whether objective/external or subjective/internal, ever forces our ultimate attitude or outlook. As Viktor Frankl famously observed in Man’s Search for Meaning, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” The external context where Frankl discovered this truth for himself was one of the most nightmarish imaginable: a series of Nazi concentration camps, where he was imprisoned for three years. One might expect an environment like that to torture the sense of attitudinal autonomy clean out of a person. But for Frankl, it was the crucible where a living awareness of ultimate human freedom was forged.
Importantly, a corollary of Frankl’s insight is also true, representing its complement or converse: We can actually choose to limit our own freedom of choice. Usually, we do this unconsciously. As Richard Bach observed in Illusions, “Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they’re yours.”
It’s a sad and, in the end, useless thing that we do, employing our freedom to convince ourselves and others that we’re not free, that our life is a miserable trap. The door is always open, but we insist that it’s closed.

